Nathan Sass

Kloppenburg Loses “on the River”

In Politics, Scott Walker, Tea Party, WI Budget Battle on April 8, 2011 at 12:04 PM

I love to play Texas Hold ’em, and while I am no pro I do understand the game well enough to understand what can happen when you go all in on a weak hand.  The results are usually not very good.

In the Wisconsin Supreme Court race, the left pushed all in while holding a pair of deuces in a heads up match with the conservative movement. (For the non-poker crowd, when you push all in if you lose you are done playing.)

A Pair of Dueces

The conservatives called with an Ace – King (known in the game as “Big Slick”).

Big Slick

In plain english, the advantage at the beginning of the hand was to Kloppenburg and her union goon allies.  However, there was a large chance that the lead would not hold up.

The flop landed and the community cards came out Queen – 3 – 5.  No help for the conservatives there.  Still, with two cards left to play, the Kloppenburg – Union hand was still weak.

Then comes the turn card, and it’s a Jack. Still no help for the conservatives.  The pair of deuces in the Kloppenburg hand seem to be holding.

Anyone who plays poker knows that this is not the time to get up from your seat and start dancing around the table claiming victory.  There is still one card to play and many ways for you to lose.  For the superstitious (about 99.9% of the poker playing crowd), such actions are believed to anger the “poker gods” and guarantee defeat.

Inexplicably, Kloppenburg and her union thug allies did exactly that.  You can actually visualize Kloppenburg jumping around and yelling “I win!! I win!!” in her squeaky and annoying voice.

Her union goon backers in the crowd are also hooting and chanting “Tell me what Hold’em Poker looks like!  THIS IS WHAT HOLD’EM POKER LOOKS LIKE!!!”

One small problem…ther river card is still to come.  That’s the card every poker player fears the most because it seems that every tough loss is due to a shocker “on the river”.  We who play sweat that card more than any other.  A loss on the river is the most stinging and painful poker experience you can ever have.

The dealer always seems to pause longer on the river, and the waiting can be excruciating.  Finally, after the long dramatic pause, the dealer flips that last card and lays it on the table.

In this case, the river card was an Ace.  That gives the conservatives a pair of Aces, beating that pair of Kloppenburg-dueces in the left’s hand, and delivering the whole game to the conservatives.  It was not a huge win, but it was a win just the same.  When you go all in and lose, even in a close game, you still lose everything.

The recognition that the votes in Brookfield were not included in the unofficial totals provided to the AP on election night by Waukesha County was the river card.  There is nothing fraudulent about that card, but when you lose everything you start to look for a conspiracy anywhere you can find it.

For poker players, the premature celebration would be assigned the blame and the losing player would learn a valuable lesson about not offending the “poker gods”.

Unfortunately, Democrats in Wisconsin are not so inclined, and are now blaming the dealer.  They are claiming that the dealer cheated, that the casino was in on it, and the whole poker establishment is aligned against them.  They will point the finger at anyone they can because it just cannot be their fault.  In so doing they will just come off as sore losers and give up even more credibility with the public.

The truth is that the left in Wisconsin made a very unwise decision to push all in on such a weak hand like Kloppenburg.  She is the pair of deuces they expected to hold up.  The left should have been clear headed enough to recognize that while she had a chance, there were a lot of combinations that could beat them.  They may have been wise to hold something back and be able to play the next hand.  Desperation usually results in poor decisions and devastating losses.

Now the left has no chips.  They are out of the game.  They cannot realistically expect court challenges to succeed any more.  In fact, Judge Sumi will probably be scolded in epic fashion when the appeal reaches the high court, and that will likely preclude any further similar attempts to block legislation in the courts in the future.

I expect that the Supreme Court ruling will actually be a 5-2 margin, meaning that they would have lost even with Kloppenburg on the bench, which will add a certain degree of insult to injury.

It’s hard to understand why an entire movement seems to be so willing to continue to destroy themselves.  Engaging in actions like sick outs, destructive protests, phony doctors notes, boycotts of Wisconsin companies, and generally childish and thuggish behavior is not winning them any converts.  Putting up candidates like Kloppenburg is just as foolish as it is self destructive.

I said at the outset of this battle in a previous post that Walker had already won, and the death of the entire Progressive movement was well underway in Wisconsin.  If the progressives could not manage a victory right now when the progressive base is more motivated that it will ever be again, they should not expect that future elections will be any easier for them.  I expect that as time passes, progressives will have a more and more difficulty winning elections.

The left has played their last chips, and lost.  To the winner go the spoils, in poker and in politics.

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  1. […] Kloppenburg Loses “on the River” – 4/8/2011 […]

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