Nathan Sass

Introducing The 2012 Chevy Obama!!!!

In Barack Obama, Humor, Politics on July 30, 2010 at 5:00 PM

   Government Motors

Introducing the 2012 Chevrolet Obama

Obama is an electric car that uses gas to create its own electricity (so it really isn’t what it claims to be, just like its namesake). Plug it in, let it charge overnight, and it’s ready to run on a pure electric charge for up to 40 miles (actual mileage may vary*) — gas and emissions free**.

After that, Obama keeps going, even if you don’t want it to. Obama uses a range-extending gas generator that produces enough energy (in the form of hot air) to power it for hundreds of miles on a single tank of gas.

* Obama’s promises are vastly overinflated and the public can expect to get almost exactly the opposite of what Obama’s promises are.
** Not really, since you probably have a coal fired power plant that generates your electricity at home, but don’t tell anyone!
Al Gore followers think electricity comes from the electricity fairy that sends it to your house out of those little holes in the walls, making it “clean” energy! Idiots.

Features

·        26” teleprompter, 7″ LCD touch screen and 7″ digital reconfigurable LCD instrument cluster.   Teleprompter cannot be disabled. You don’t want to
look stupid speaking “off prompter”, do you?

·        Remote vehicle starter system preconditions the cabin and the
surrounding public to accept the Obama without question.

·        Bose® Energy Efficient sound system with six speakers and a
subwoofer capable of subliminal broadcasting.  You will be assimilated.  Resistance is futile.

·        30 GB Hard Disk Drive for digital music storage – preloaded with the
same collection given to the Queen of England containing Obama’s
greatest speeches, at no charge (Speeches cannot be deleted. Seriously.
You HAVE to leave them there.).

·        High feature Navigation includes voice recognition.   Navigation system requires left turns at all times. (Obama does not recognize the voices of Jeremiah Wright, William Ayers, and selected others to be named when finally discovered by the public.)

·        XM Radio with XM NavTraffic®/Weather with three trial months – trial funded by US taxpayers, of course. At 5 times the actual cost. They have really effective lobbyists.

·        OnStar® with Big Brother Monitoring, Directions and Connections Plan® standard for five years. (Big Brother system cannot be shut off and does
not expire, ever. So don’t even think about it, mister! )

·        Industry-first “mobile apps” capabilities via a smartphone device or web (actually, Obama works with Blackberry and Android only, so forget the
Apple stuff. We don’t do iPods, because Apple doesn’t pay its proper
tribute to us.  Jerks.).

·        8 standard hot air bags:

·        Dual-stage front hot air bags for driver and front passenger, knee hot
air bags for use when visiting foreign leaders, side-impact hot air bags
for protection from a blind siding by the Clintons and roof-rail hot air bags
to try to absorb inflation rate as it goes through the roof (Like that’s
going to work! HA!!).

·        Three-point seatbelts in front seating positions that hold you back if
you are too successful.  Slow down there, cowboy.  No over achievers allowed.  Makes others feel bad about themselves.  Gotta spread your
wealth around to make them feel better (actually, make you feel as
bad as them, but as long as you both feel the same, we are happy.)

·        LATTCH (Lower Achievement but Top-pay for Teachers of Children) system – rear seats – guarantees teachers union members a seat in any Obama anywhere. 

·        8-year/100,000 mile battery warranty (Actually, the warranty is an
unfunded entitlement and will probably never actually happen, just like Social Security, so don’t count on it. Besides, if anything goes wrong,
we will just blame it on Bush.).

·        Mandatory leftist-appointed seats on the bench.

Lease the 2012 Obama for as low as
$350/ month for 36 months

$2250 due at lease signing (except for members of ACORN.  We will actually
give them money or they will protest
the crap out of us)

Includes security deposit. Tax, title, license, dealer fees and more taxes extra. Lots more taxes, actually.
Especially if you are a white executive
in the suburbs.

Or purchase for as low as

$33,500net

Price after $7,500 in taxpayer money stolen from general fund is applied to make this car competitive. This car
really costs $41,000. For that much
you could buy something that is
actually cool and you will like 6
months later (like a Mustang GT, but
we didn’t say that).

We promise you will regret choosing Obama in 6 months, but hey, whatever.
It’s time for a change or something.
What could possibly go wrong?

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